|© Redbeard Yacht Systems Logo|
Capt. Rick Barbarossa’s
Redbeard Yacht Systems
Mobile Yacht Services
Huntington Beach, CA
An Introduction by: “Black Dog”
Welcome me little hearties, ta the Redbeard Yacht Systems web site. Me n’ Red be workin’ harder n’ a peg-legged hornpipe dancer, sez me, tryin’ ta make this here place one where each n’ every swabbie can find quarter. No matter iffin’ yer a new lil’ squiddie er a seasoned, seagoin’ Jack Tar with salt n’ pitch flowin through yer veins, this here site should have somethin’ good ta offer ye!
Iffin’ ye takes the time ta wade through all the bilgewater, ye will find fer certain, somethin’ o’ value, sez I. Iffin’ ye don’t, blow yerself down then and exit this here place.
Afore ye be preceedin’, let’s me make a few things very clear like. This ain’t no politically correct, namby pamby, boot-lickin’ place ta be. Ol Red n’ me calls em’ the way we seez um’ an iffin’ ye don’t like it, yer free ta jump ship. Ye can likely be findin’ quarter on some “Hen Frigate.” Blast ye then!
So swagger about mate an begin by seein’ just who “Red” be anyhowz. There be a page called “About Red” what gives the skinny on this here brigand .
Next be the “Services” page where ye can read (Iffin’ ye can’t read the Kings word, have a mate read it to ye) and see examples o’ some o’ the wonderful work and services provided by Redbeard Yacht Systems. Why, it brings a littl’ tear ta me eye just thinkin’ bout it, sez me.
Fer those squids what be new in the ranks what don’t “know-it-all” yet, (the ones what sez they do be the ones what ye really gots ta watch out fer the most!) ye can check out the “Articles” section. This here section be the treasure trove, the contents o’ the Captn’s chest. Lot’s o’ informative like. There be articles coverin’ a full range o’ marine related topics. Since Red can’t read, he thought he may as well write, sez he. Some of ye seasoned tars may learn a thing er two also. Iffin’ ye gots the guts.
Now hear this! We also be offerin’ ye book-learned types an opportunity ta be readin’ “Redbeard’s Log”. Each an every month, Red’s Log will be a tellin’ ya lot’s o’ stuff ye be needin’ ta know as well as useless flotsom and jetsom ye could well do without. Truth is, that Ol Red needs ta be gettin’ all o’ his opinions, jokes ‘n other mind clutterin bilgewater outta his system. Red calls it a literary purgin’, whatever the hell that be meanin’, sez me. New boatin’ products, technical boatin’ tips, jokes, sea stories, and such. The Log be kinda’ a smatterin’ of everything. Red even be bold enough ta offer insights inta the female mind……now there be a roller coaster ride fer sure mates! Check out Redbeard’s Log, you’ll like it er else, sez I.
After ye be done readin’ all the fancy pants technical articles an fillin’ yer hold with the booty from Red’s Log, ye most likely be wantin ta set out fer sea and use all yer newly found knowledge, sez me. Well, ye may as well dress fer the part ye scurvy, rat eaten dog. The “Red’s Gear” page ‘ll show ye a selection o’ t-shirts, hats, jackets, mugs and other stuff what sports the “Redbeard” marque. Why, I hear tell o’ one mate who swapped his Redbeard T-shirt fer items worth ten times the value o’ the shirt. Thats how much people like em’, certain they do mates. Actual like, we hear lot’s o’ stories like that. Now’s the chance ta take on stores just in case ye needs ta stand n’ deliver.
Fer ye soft hearted types, there be Red’s Family Album page. This ain’t his real family, sez me, but several Hollywood out-of-work actor types what he hired on real inexpensive like. (He be attemptin’ ta leave his past behind n’ portray himself as a gentleman o’ quality.) I’d sooner choke on a rat then believe anythin’ on that there page. It do look nice though and it makes Red feel like he be more acceptable like, sez he. Next year, he be considerin’ rentin a dog n’ namin him “Buddy” , just fer the Family Page. Now ain’t that nice liKE.
Lastly, there be the Links & Flotsam page. It be featurin’ electronical “links” ta other interestin’ marine oriented web sites and any other drivel Ol Red cares ta scribble down.
So, off with ye ! Be on yer merry way now and go explorin’ the site. Iffin’ ye gots any suggestions er questions er any other words ta pass on ta me er Red, take a gander below. It be simpler than walkin a plank.
“There be no substitute fer experience!”